A Sinner's Prayer

[jstxanothrxstory]

Name: A Sinner's Prayer
Summary: Edwin realizes he likes his step-sister Lizzie and tries to come to terms with himself.
Timeline: This story takes place when Derek and Casey are 18, Edwin is 14, Lizzie is 13, and Marti is 8, so I guess it'd be around season four.
Rating: R for a relationship between two siblings, sexual content, language, adult themes, and rape.
Pairings: Edwin and Lizzie for the most part, some hints at Derek/Emily and Derek/Casey.

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I can't believe this. I like her; the girl who, up until now, had only been my step-sister and friend that I could count on. I know I couldn't tell her, she'd thing I was some sort of sick and perverted freak.

I was supposed to be doing my homework for English, but my mind kept going back to Lizzie. Her brown, straight her, and the smile with teeth that white, I couldn't believe I was thinking this.

Relax, I told myself. You can't like her... she's your step-sister. Even if that was true, then why in the hell did I still like her?

I sneaked a glance at my alarm clock. It read 12.00a - midnight. I slipped on a pair of shorts and a wife-beater shirt and walked down the hall. I opened the door to Lizzie's room and looked in.

She was sleeping, her stomach was moving slowly up and down. She looked so serene in her bed, which was something else to make me look so guilty about.

I looked at her for what must have been forever, when in reality, I knew it was probably about ten minutes or so.

As I walked back to my bedroom, I started thinking of her more. I knew I had to get some advice, but I didn't know who I could talk to that wouldn't laugh at me or think I was disgusting.

Then, I realized that Derek would probably still be up looking at porn or something, so I slowly walked down the hall and quietly knocked on his door. There was a long pause before he opened the door. He was looking at me half-asleep, his hair a mess and clad only in his boxers.

"Edwin, it's 12:30 in the morning, what do you want?" he groaned.

"I need advice. I'm in some real bad nuts," I replied, looking helpless and lonesome.

"Can this wait til the morning?"

"No," I replied. "I need it now."

He groaned and looked at me for a second. After a pause that seemed to be for hours, he finally caved in and said, "Okay, come on in."

I walked in and sat next to him on the bed. He was rubbing his eyes, trying to stay awake. I looked at his computer desk. He had a pile of homework still to finish.

"What's the problem?" he asked.

"I like someone... someone I'm not supposed to like..."

"Look, if this is about coming out of the closet, please don't give me the details," he said.

"No! It's not that!" I replied. He did a sigh of relief and waited for me to continue. "I like Lizzie."

"Lizzie?!"

His eyes got real wide as he to understand this. He looked at me for a second and then opened his mouth to speak. Nothing came out at first, he was probably still in shock.

"You like our step-sister Lizzie?" he asked, still in a state of shock.

I wasn't sure what to reply; I remained frozen to the core. Finally, I mustered up the courage to reply with a single "yes."

"Does she know?" Derek asked.

"No," I replied, "and I'd appreciate it if she didn't know, so don't tell anyone."

"Don't worry, I won't," he said. "But, how're you going to tell her when it comes time too?"

"I didn't think of that. I'm just hoping it's like a phase or something," I sighed.

Derek and I fell asleep about a minute or two after that. I woke up and saw Derek still asleep at the foot of his bed. His room was still dark, as well as outside. I turned my head and looked at Derek's alarm clock, which read 5.30am.

I got of out his bed and walked back down the hall, back to Lizzie's room. Her door was still cracked from when I had been to it earlier. She was still sleeping, except now her covers were askew. After contemplating whether I should go in there and fix them or not, I decided to go ahead and do it.

Her room felt like an icebox and it looked like she was sound asleep. I shook her a little bit and she remained asleep. I shook her again, except this time I did it twice as hard. She still remained asleep, and I realized she would sleep through anything and everything.

I walked to her bedroom door and closed it. I locked it and tip-toed over the edge of her bed. I slipped my shorts and shirt off and climbed into the bed next to her. I got on top of her and kissed her, finally letting all my emotions out. I pulled away and noticed she was still asleep.

It was hard deciding what to do next. I could either leave her room right now, or I could see how far I could take this. I could feel my stomach turning into a knot, and she looked so innocent asleep. I wasn't innocent though. I had already kissed her, so why not take it to the next step?

Ultimately, I decided not to do it tonight and I climbed out of her bed. I had a boner, and I didn't have time to get my clothes back on. I quickly exited her bedroom and closed her door all the way.

Dawn was starting to rise through the hallway windows, and I rushed to the bathroom. I slammed the door shut and turned the faucet on.

After I slipped my boxers off, I stepped into the cold shower water and let it drip off me. I didn't even want to bother turning it to warm, as I didn't have any need to. All I needed to do was cry, and cry I did.

~~~

What do you think? The more comments I get, the quicker I'll update

[jstxanothrxstory]

I was sitting at the table when morning came. I was the only one there, which I didn't doubt. It was 6:30 in the morning on a Saturday. No one would be up this early, except for the creeps and weirdo's; I was still trying to decide which one I fell under.

I sat thinking to myself for a few moments. The house was quiet, and eerie. I could do whatever I wanted and no one would know.

The bathroom door was slightly cracked, and the nightlight was shining through. I pushed the door ajar and walked in. The night light was flicking. I flipped the regular light on, then closed and locked the door.

I grabbed the drawer and pulled it up. Searching through it - I found what I had wanted - a razor. I popped the tag and saw the razor slices fall against the counter. I grabbed one and sliced it against my arm.

The blood dripped down my arm, and I slid the door crying. I dozed off and the next thing I remember was a loud knock at the door.

"Edwin, open the d**n door!" Derek screamed. I slowly woke up and looked at my arm. The blood had stopped, but I had blood on my arm.

"I'm up!" I yelled back and stood up.

I washed my hand and arm under the sink. I opened the door and Derek was staring at me. He smiled and said: "Well, look who finally decided to get up. It's eight o' clock."

"AM or PM?!"

"AM, you idiot," he said. "Now if you don't mind, I've got to take a huge piss."

"Oh sorry," I said.

I moved aside and let him use the bathroom. I could hear the sounds of him peeing and then I walked upstairs.

Lizzie's door opened and she appeared. She said hey to me, but I ran past her room as fast as I could. I could hear her and Casey whispering and I definatly heard my name mentioned.

I opened my door and fell back on my bed, slamming my door in the process. I clicked the on button and my radio blusted Three Days Grace out of the speakers.

[ladyj]

Ooh very good so far! Update soon.